Stephanie Sarkis, author of Gaslighting: Recognize Manipulative and Emotionally Abusive People - and Break Free, explains that gaslighting is a “series of behaviors where the sole intent is to gain control of someone else.
Gaslighting is also done with intent – not by accident – with the purpose of gaining control.
Gaslighting is a tactic used over time with malicious intent. It’s important to note that gaslighting involves consistency and behaviours that take place over time, rather than one-off incidents of manipulative behaviour.
#Gaslight someone meaning series
The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines gaslighting as “to attempt to make (someone) believe that he or she is going insane (as by subjecting that person to a series of experiences that have no rational explanation)”. It overlaps with lots of other nasty behaviours that people use in relationships, and it’s becoming more and more common – especially on social media – for people to misuse the term, describing any sort of manipulative behaviour as “gaslighting”.įor example, many of us learn tactics of manipulation during childhood, but it wouldn’t be fair to say that children are “gaslighting” their parents in order to get the toys and sweets they want. Gaslighting is a serious emotional abuse tactic that’s used to manipulate and gain power in a relationship, so it’s important to be cautious when using the term. However, sadly, “the validation never comes,” she says. Rodman goes on to explain that gaslighting causes self doubt to take over so that you lose touch with who you once were, causing you to crave validation from your partner even more. “What happens when you can’t trust your gut? what happens when your feelings are no longer reliable? What happens when you continually doubt your interpretations, memories and values? What do those things do to your psyche?” Her internal radar, her gut, one which we’re all equipped with to keep our emotional, physical and psychological selves safe from harm, shuts down. “The victim internalises her partner’s assertions and rejects her own. Just like any form of emotional abuse, gaslighting destroys a person’s self esteem, isolates them and traps them under the control of their abuser.Īccording to psychotherapist Abby Rodman, creator of the Relationships with Abby Rodman podcast series, “Gaslighting demands the victim replaces her reality with her partner’s rendition. A lie here, a lie there, a snide comment every so often…and then it starts ramping up.” Psychology Today explains, “This is one of the insidious things about gaslighting-it is done gradually, over time. Gaslighting is done systematically over a period of time, and eventually the victim comes to feel that their version of events has either been misconstrued or imagined. Ingrid Bergman stars in the 1944 film Gaslight.
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